Five Ways To Feel Better Instantly!

by BR Kellie

Real Talk with BR Kellie: It's a funny old world we live in. I'm really quite fond of it. That being said, the last few years living through the uncertainty of a pandemic, while also having personal issues pop up, not to mention enduring the hormonal joys of peri-menopause, have made for a rocky road mental health-wise, and I've found myself experiencing more emotional swings and roundabouts than usual. To deal with them I've had to find ways to keep myself on track, to give myself a boost in those times when everything feels like life is avalanching and I'm sitting smack bang in its path, or even on those days when everything's fine but I'm just feeling out of sorts. 

To be clear, I am not a health professional and this does not replace professional advice, and while it's perfectly normal to have moments when you feel sad or just not right in yourself, if those feelings continue or if your thoughts become harmful please seek professional help.

So what are tips I've found that work wonders when I feel less than wonderful? 

Breathe 

You know how people tell you to breathe when you're in full freak out mode and it doesn't help? Well, if we actually listened to them and followed their advice it kinda would. There are breathing techniques out there that can help bring you back into alignment when you're in full stress mode, some of which are explained in this video featuring neuro-scientist Dr Andrew Huberman.

My personal favourite way to breathe is the two breaths in, followed by the massive mouth exhale method, aka 'the physiological sigh'. It's a tip I initially learned in my yoga practice and one that Dr Huberman recommends, and I can honestly say that when I catch myself in stressy Kellie mode and get my breathe on, it makes a massive difference.

Get Mindful

Mindfulness and I have not been friends for most of my life. I could easily count on one hand the amount of osteos/chiros/people who know about mind/body stuff that have said to me 'Kellie, you need to get out of your head and into your body', and for many years I ignored them, until a couple of panic attacks saw me realise I needed to find a way to curb my racing brain before I lost the plot completely. So how can one employ a little mindfulness throughout their day?

It doesn't have to be about meditation (although that certainly helps!), mindfulness can be as simple as using all our senses to embrace the moment we're in. Pay attention to our breath. Pay attention to the colours of the world around us. Listen to the sounds around us. We can acknowledge how we're feeling and accept it, all the while talking to ourselves in a way that we would to a friend who was going through it. Even simply stretching and paying attention to how each part of your body is feeling as you move it can bring you back to yourself. When I felt a panic attack coming on I even found counting back from 100, or looking at objects and naming them helped bring me back to the here and now. Finding the right method for you can involve a little trial and error, but once you find a mindfulness practice that works it can make a huge difference to your day to day life.

Connect

It's so easy to want to hide yourself away when you're feeling not your best. The ironic thing is that in those times we need to reach out. (Some might say a friend ought to do the reaching out in these times, but in my experience people are all living in their own life bubbles and are too busy doing their own thing to realise we need a little love. Also, they're not mind readers.) Something as simple as a quick coffee or a walk and talk with a person we love and trust can make us feel instantly better. If face-to-face isn't possible, even a zoom or phone call can help lift our mood.

If reaching out to connect with others seems overwhelming, connect with yourself. For years I shunned the concept of journaling. I thought it was self-indulgent... and what would I have to write about that mattered anyway? Turns out - once I got over myself and gave it a go, which featured my first entry being all about how much I did not want to journal - it's been life changing. By writing down my thoughts, my feelings, my long-held beliefs that may or may not be true, I've been able to figure out the root of those meh moments, and can now spot them coming and steer them away, or at least accept the reasons they're there when the do turn up.

Journalling doesn't have to be a big deal, with hours of pen to paper time (or fingertips to keyboard, but I find handwriting the easiest way to do it, although I know of others who journal via voice notes). Even just ten minutes a day reflecting on your internal self's thoughts, feelings and beliefs can make a big difference.

Find Your Gratefulness

People wah on about gratefulness all the time, and at one point this was another thing I found self indulgent and navel gazery (how to tell I was brought up in the suck-it-up-and-get-over-it 80s without saying I was brought up in the suck-it-up-and-get-over-it 80s). However, these days I don't go a day without expressing gratitude. I either add it to my journaling, or my family and I sit down at dinner and each say three things we're grateful for that day. It doesn't have to be deep and meaningful either, it can be as simple as saying you're grateful for the food you're about to eat, or for the rain that nurtures the earth, or for the clothing on your back.

Do Something Good For Yourself

If breathing, mindfulness, connecting with self and others, or finding moments of gratitude all seem a bit too much, or like something you're not ready to try, then it's time to embrace the beautiful things in life. Force yourself to take time out by applying a face mask and lying down with a good book or music for twenty minutes. Run yourself a bath and fill it with bubbles or aromatic oils. Do your makeup for no reason other than you find it enjoyable (I rocked a full face pretty much every day during Auckland's lockdowns. For me it was as soothing as it was fun to try out different eye looks and experiment with products I usually am too shy to wear out of the house.) The trick is to just do something you would usually love no matter how much of a funk you're in, because even if that joy you find doing something you love is fleeting, it shows it's still there within you... and with that brings a moment of proof that you can find the light in your life once more.

So, my beauties, what do you do to make yourself feel instantly better? What gives you a boost on blue days? Sharing is caring, so get chatting below.